that it would look like this

i never thought it. never thought for a second it even could.

im blown away by so many things, things i have witnessed, things in the world, things in my life, we all get surprised, but i never couldve imagined my marriage to matt would look like it does. before we got married, people said don't do it, you will ruin everything you have. after we got married, people told us to wait for the honeymoon phase to wear off, because then it gets hard. not sure when it's supposed to set in, because all ive felt each day is happier and more sure of the decision each and every day since may 10, 2008.

to have a best friend, someone i can talk political issues with, someone that listens to issues i care about and as a result cares more about them himself, and someone who tells more more about issues he cares about and helps me care more as a result. to have a best friend that makes me laugh, our little world of nicknames and made up words, our voices when we are around each other, and to have it all with the academic conversation and the real interests beyond things between us but things much larger. i am also so blown away by how we have evolved from teenagers, 17 years old, and we are now almost 25, and our worldviews and philosophies and religions and perceptions and ethics and beliefs have changed so much, but how incredible it is that they have evolved together. we have always generally agreed on the changes when they took place, and so many of them happened for their own reasons, when we were half a world apart matt in new zealand and me in spain, we changed on our own but oddly in the same way. we used to joke that maybe it all started with our SAT score (we got the exact same SAT score. the exact same number.) and that our brains were thus aligned somehow, although we know that is ridiculous. we both don't believe in one-person-for-every-person romance fairytales. im sure we could find other suitable people, although im sure i can speak for both of us in that it isn't something we have reason to think about. all i know is that we are simply lucky, extraordinarily lucky. we have done nothing to deserve such a healthy incredible bond and support system in marriage. just like a battered woman has done absolutely nothing to deserve her abuse. for us, our marriage is a source of strength, a foundation with which both of us can feel strong enough to jump off into the world and push for real change. i absolutely would not be where i am - not even close - without the support i have in matt. where i am going, i wouldn't be able to go without him. it is easy to say you are strong and independent, but in reality we all need the love and support from friends family and our closest loved ones to keep moving forward. and im absolutely unafraid and unabashed in the pride i have for who matt is, and who we are as a couple. i find myself dreaming of our future, when we have our children, and raise them together. sometimes when we are travelling, we cant resist talking about what kinds of trips we want our children to experience, how we want them to know and love nature and want to protect it, to support them the way our parents supported us. matt and i are incredibly lucky not only to have eachother, but to have the families that we have. it is truly our inspiration to go out and change the world. and i hope that in some way, our parents too feel proud that they have contributed something to the world by raising such motivated and caring children.

i love you so much matthew jay.

love,
your suz